Kindness

“Kindness is easy to talk about, it is harder to do”

I heard that once from someone, wrote it down, and forgot about it. Came back to it and started to think about it.

How one sentence can have meaning behind it, 12 words, putted togheter to make inpact on someone. We all repeat things we once heared and repeat them, but it is a mixture of all the things that were ever spoken, read, heard somewhere, and now I can put extra layers to it. And yet, sometimes it is just silence that responds to me when I want to write. Like there is nothing valuable to share at this moment. So many ideas that were crossing my mind, and yet is is so hard to recall them, come back to them, and write about it.

Sometimes all I needed is to someone just take a moment with me, and listen, it was all I needed, and yet, there were no one really to do so. Everyone is cought up it their own worlds, and level of caring that is beeing given on daily basis is so low. I think that is why I try to listen when I can, when I have a mental, and phisical possibility to, because, I was cut of so many times, that I just don’t have it in me to ignore someone, who is giving me enough trust, to share a part of themselves. Sad, at first, but I decided, that I will be there for myself. Instead of looking for people, who did not gave a single moment of attention to me, not because they were bad people, but because, they were not really there either way, I decided that I will be my own best friend, and the dialogs I’ve had, were one of the best conversations ever.

For me, to someone who doesn’t care, I cannot do anything but, here is one of the conclusions that I came up with about emotions:

Emotions are like water, they have different states

Solid, liqid, air

Learn how to use meditation skills to surf among them

To catch waves, because it can be like surfing in the coulds

Or fighting for survival in cold arctic waters

It all can be done, it is all only a matter of preaparations

So for me kindess is as well knowing when to walkaway, if you don’t resonate, and don’t have much in common.

Thinking, feeling, writing, creating, is actually for me personally, an act of bravery in a way, it takes less effort the more you do it, and it just becomes natural, but I was asking about opinion people who didin’t really thought, felt, create, and that is why I was beeing called wierd, or not interesting. When a surfer meets a surfer, conversations between them will be like a conversation between musician and musician, there will be a level of understanding going way beyond, just what notes they used, chord progression, I rather think it is going to be uniqe connection between 2 human beeings.

As well kindess for me is beeing with someone, who says, that they want to surf, and listening to everything they share with me, with my mouth closed and ears open. Because I have this feeling inside, that if someone would be there for me, instead of laughing from my dreams, goals, failiures, and all the hardships that come with enduring the process of learing, I could get faster where I wanted.

I could avoid injuries, pain, suffering, and it is easy to talk about kindess, from a warm bed with using beautyfull words, but when the real moment comes, and after a long day, when I’m tired, and I’m spliting my attention between so many things, someone lost, is starting to talk to me, somehow, these are the moments, when I’m not in the mood, for that, that is the moment, when kindess is needed.

Kindess is not hard if you care

Another line heard from someone, who said it to me, when I shared my struggles with him. It is a gift. Attention, presence, listetning, it is a most valubale currency that is beeing exchanged between people that is beeing exchange between strangers, or closed friends. Someone was there for me, so I’m gonna be there for someone.

There is so many smartasses that are critising way of living of others, you should do this or that, but whoever is critisising anyone, for me is always have problems with themselves. Somehwere deep inside, it is so rude of them, that they try to bring others down, just to not be alone in their own misery. It is a sad world they live, maybe this verbal attacts that they do is the only way, that they can get any kind of attention in this world, they have to be very loalney. In this case I don’t have enough caring in me to play their game. I would say let them be in there alone, they are in a hole, and if kindess would be a rope, I would say, that they are to lazy to climb.